whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
