you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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