when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
