Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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