He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she told me i tasted like america
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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