the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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