good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize