Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
