I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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