so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
tell me about the eggs
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