I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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