I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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