Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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