My brain says no but my pants say off.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
