I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
