420 ftw
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
