Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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