But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
