Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
