just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
