I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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