Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
