whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
