I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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