As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
