we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
