If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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