why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
