tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
home. puking in laundry basket.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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