She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
