when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
