Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
