Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
