Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
