READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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