Do you still have your period?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
