Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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