We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
