Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
