i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
