I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
