Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm too high and old for this...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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