my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
