your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
how drunk are you?
Several
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
