peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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