The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
