If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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