I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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