We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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