Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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