If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
