all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
