Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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