remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
