I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
