Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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