My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
