She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize