Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
