So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
