Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
