well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
