i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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