She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
